It's Decorative Gourd Season, MoFos

Welcome to Autumn!

Follow this link to Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency.
In a word ... hysterical!

www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/10/20nissan.html

Why did I agree to this?!?

You know when someone asks you to do something and you instantly blurt out "sure" without thinking? That was moi at a meeting a few weeks ago when someone from PR asked, would you be willing to ...?"

My response? "sure" ... (no, no!! where's the rewind button!!aarrgghh!!)

This lovely photo along with text will appear in the next Museum magazine along with some drivel I've written about the piece I'm standing beside. Great, now 5000 people get to see/read this.

WHAT was I thinking?

::SIGH:: too late now.

I did a bad, BAD thing!!

I'm almost completely recovered, but I recently received a hard lesson in instant karma courtesy of the universe.

Sometimes it really pays to carefully review your emails BEFORE you actually hit the send button.

Last week I attended a meeting that was being moderated by one of my newbie co-workers. The agenda was presented was incoherent, facts and figures were missing, etc. etc. Several of us who have been in the department for more than five minutes have been trying, delicately, to show them the ropes without hanging them from one. When you're not that person's supervisor you definitely tread the razors edge.

Well, I was appropriately irked after the meeting; I thought it made our department look ridiculous. Miss Nit Picker 2008 sat down at her desk and began composing an email (I don't recall that I was actually going to send it to anyone, I was just venting); one that was not especially flattering. I think words like "servile and sycophantic" might have been used (the individual in question does have a habit of agreeing with EVERYONE!). Additional phrases like "why does "so and so" need to reinvent the wheel?" were also included. click, click, click, my fingers flying furiously over the keyboard.

You've probably guessed what I did next ... Yes, that's right ... I SENT it to the very person I was kvetching about. WTF???

I realized it the moment it happened and was so flustered that I couldn't open the freaking drop down menu to RECALL the message ... OH NO! TOO LATE ... they read it.

SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

What did I do? Well, I went to the two people in the office I trust most for advice. After they finished laughing at me, we all agreed that firing up the BBQ and eating a nice BIG portion of crow was my only way out.

So I gathered up my courage and admitted I was an asshole. And a lucky asshole at that; this individual, though saddened by my email, was understanding and glad that I had aired my thoughts. WHEW.

Fast forward. We're probably on better terms than before and the newbies are now ASKING QUESTIONS instead of trying to reinvent that damned wheel.

All's well that ends well? I don't know ... but at least I still have a job!! LOL

Fireflies

When I moved four years ago, I was suddenly taken off guard one evening upon seeing the first fireflies of summer. It had been so long; the good people in the county where I used to live blanketed the air with pesticides in the summers to keep the mosquito population at bay but sadly they killed all the fireflies in the process.

So every night the pooch and I go on his evening consitutional and count fireflies (or lightning bugs, depending on where you're from).

It's the little things in life that make us happy and to that end:

Fireflies in the Garden


Here come real stars to fill the upper skies,
And here on earth come emulating flies,
That though they never equal stars in size,
(And they were never really stars at heart)
Achieve at times a very star-like start.
Only, of course, they can't sustain the part.

~Robert Frost

All will be revealed ...

if you wait long enough.

Earlier this week I mentioned how much my spouse hated my new "do" ... this morning he finally elaborated on the subject.

Apparently, this particular haircut reminds him of his ex-wife (or at least her hair). That alone is disturbing enough especially if you knew the "x." I met her once and it definitely is not a compliment.

Just a quick question ... is it wrong that I find it disturbing that he's worked up over this in light of the fact that they've been divorced for 24 years?

I know, leave it alone, right?

The Office Prima Donna

There's one in every office. You know who I mean - that one "special" person who chaps your freaking hide.

I feel so lucky -- I've got one in my office and boy, she's a real jewel! Seriously, she's worthy of at least two ordinary prima donnas. If Websters were to put a photo in the dictionary next to the term anal-rententive, I'm sure it would be hers.

Everything from her tight bun to her super-annunciated speech patterns drives me batty. And when her hair isn't "bunned," she swishes it in a most annoying fashion.

But on a lighter note, that last habit has lent itself to an in-house competition of who can do the best imitation.

So it isn't all bad ... at least we're having some fun!

the REALLY bad haircut?

Actually, I'm not the one who thinks it's a bad haircut, but by the way my spouse is carrying on (he isn't speaking to me -- wtf?!) you would think I pulled a Britney Spears!

I could understand his stony silence if I walked into the salon with a mane of hair to rival Rapunzel's lovely locks. Reality? My pre-haircut 'do' was at the base of my neck, the ends just touching my shoulders. Straight, flat, and shapeless!

Now, I admit overall it's a bit shorter than I had envisioned. So what DOES it look like? I suppose it's sort of a bob -- cut shorter (and layered) in the back and shaped to be longer in the front. If it looked really bad I know my 18-year-old would not have hesitated to tell me it was grotesque (or perhaps he felt sorry for me).

:::SIGH:::

Well, the good news is that hair GROWS back!! right?